Final Fantasy 7: the Sonic Way
by Super Metal Sonic
Summary: The Sonic gang do a parody of FF7 but they soon realize how much trouble it is when they meet their co-workers. rated for some miled swearing.
1. Trouble and the casting

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sonic, Final Fantasy 7 or Beast Wars.

**Final Fantasy VII: The Sonic Way**

"Hey guys, guess what?" Sonic said as he rushed into the room, "We're going to do a Final Fantasy 7 parody!"

"Um… Sonic, we're already doing Final Fantasy parody" Knuckles said to Sonic, who replied, "That's for Rei and it's FFX. This is FF7 and it's for Super Metal Sonic"

"So Super Metal S. is the author, huh" Shadow asked.

"Yep, so let's round everyone up and get going"

Later, the Sonic Team (including Eggman, Metal Sonic and the Sonic X cast) arrives at the studio. As they reach the front door, they see a green and yellow robot, with wasp like features (i.e. wasp wings, thorax and a bug like face), sweeping the floor.

"Hey, can you tell me if this is the studio, Super Metal Sonic told us to meet him at?" Sonic asked the wasp-bot,

"Oh yezzz," the robot buzzed, "Author-bot told Wazzpinator that furry-botzz would be coming, pleazze come thizz way"

"Author-bot? Furry-botzz? Do you always talk like that?" Shadow said as he listened to the way the robot talked

"Wazzpinator wazz built that way. Now, Author-bot izzn't here at the moment but will arrive in three minutezz"

"Ah, all the time I need. Yesss". The group turned round to the shadows, where the new voice came from, to see a large red robot emerge from them,

"Megatron!" Waspinator squealed in terror, as the red tyrant strode towards him. Megatron then spread his dragon wings open as he began to gloat, "With the author out of the way, I'll cause pure chaos in this parody"

"Oh no you don't" Shadow said, jumping in front of Megatron, "You won't cause any trouble while I'm standing" Megatron simply replied by transforming into his dragon mode and touched Shadow with flame breath, "Did you ordered original recipe or extra crispy?" Shadow said as he collapsed to the floor. As the Sonic Team started to get worried, Rouge tried to be the voice of reason, "Don't worry guys. What trouble could he cause in two minutes?"

Two minutes later, Super Metal Sonic (me, the author) entered the studio and found the place in flames and ruins, with a crashed Egg Carrier sticking out of the roof.

"**MEGATRON!**"

The red tyrant smirked as he turned to face the author, the Sonic Team and Waspinator locked in a cage.

"You yelled?"

"I leave this place for five minutes and you turned it into World War 3!"

"So?"

"So, if you don't fix it, you can say good bye to Squeaky"

Realizing he was serious, Megatron quickly hurried out of the room, looking for a hammer.

"Who the hell is Squeaky?" Knuckles asked as he and the others got out of the cage

"Oh, its Megatron's rubber duck, he can't live without it. Now anyway, to business" Sonic and the others then closed in, to make sure they can hear him.

"Ok. Here're are your parts:

Sonic is Cloud

Shadow is Sephiroth-"

"Hey, how come Sonic gets to be the hero and I'm the villain?" Shadow yelled

"Because Cloud wears blue, Sephiroth wears black and you used to be a villain. Plus you already starred in Rei's FFX story"

Shadow mumbled angrily as Sonic smirked

"Anyway:

Vector is Barret…"

"Yes! I get a gun for a hand and I get to swear a lot" Vector said

"Amy is Tifa

Tikal is Aeris

Knuckles is Red XIII

Eggman is Cid…"

"Why does Eggman get one of the good guy roles?" Cream asked

"Cause the choice came down to Tails or Eggman and I don't think Tails would be a good choice to play the part of someone who swears every minute"

"Makes sense" Eggman replied

"Rouge is Yuffie

Big is Cait Sith

Chaos is Vincent

Metal is Rufus

And I'll tell you the rest later when I give it some thought"

**OOOOO  
****The stage is set, so review and we'll start as soon as everything is fixed.**


	2. Explosions are fun

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sonic, Final Fantasy 7 or Beast Wars.

**Final Fantasy VII: The Sonic Way**

"Ok, people let's get started." Super Metal Sonic said as he looks through the cast list.

"First of all, I'm going to read out a few more of the cast list:

Gamma is Reno

Omega is Rude

Cream is Marlene

Professor Gerald is…"

"Wait a minute, How is he alive?" Shadow asked

"I just borrowed Megatron's cloning machine, now as I was saying:

Professor Gerald is Hojo

And Omachao is Jenova"

"Okay, that's everyone and the stage is fixed, so let's started" Megatron said with a big grin on both his faces.

"Start the opening scene!"

_-Midgar city-_

Tikal is seen walking down a street as the scene changes to show a train speeding through the streets, we then pan out to see all of the city and the title, Final Fantasy 7, appears.

As the train draws into Midgar station near the Mako Reactor no.1, the two robots on guard are attacked by Vector, who now wore a leather jacket with the sleeves torn off and a gun replacing his right hand, as he jumps down from the train, three chao then aid him in defeating another two robots and then the four of them run round a corner while Vector said,

"Come on, new comer. Follow me!"

Sonic, now dressed up as Cloud, leapt down from the train and followed Vector's trail, but not before beating two more guard robots.

"Hey, you used to be in G.U.N?" one of the chao asked Sonic as he caught up, "Cool. Never thought I'd see one in a group like AVALANCHE"

"G.U.N? Aren't they bad guys?" one of the other chao said, looking up from its work.

"He _used_ to be in G.U.N but he quitted and is now helping us, by the way, I didn't catch your name"

"The name is Sonic" the blue hero replied

"Cool name, I'm…"

"I don't care what your name is. As soon as this mission done and I get paid, I'm leaving". Just then, Vector came running up the group, "What the £$& are you fcking morons doing?" he yelled the group of chao, "I told you to split up, not stay in a group and be a fcking target. Now move!"

As the chao ran off, Vector then gave Sonic a stern stare and said, "Ex-G.U.N, huh? Don't trust ya" with that Vector and Sonic then entered the Reactor. As they reach an elevator, Vector then turned to face Sonic,

"Ok, since we need to let the audience know what the plot is, I'm going to explain what we're doing here and why we're doing it" Sonic simply nodded.

"Shinra, the Mega Corporation that practically runs the world, have built these Mako Reactors to power everything by sucking Mako out of the world. But these reactors are sucking the life out of the planet! Mako is the lifeblood of the world. So, we're going to go heart of this place, set the timer on this bomb and blow this reactor into dust, ya hear me?" Vector then noticed that Sonic wasn't listening to him, but was instated, was talking into a mobile phone

"No no, I said pepperoni! Why do you always try to pin anchovies on me? Does anyone actually order anchovies?"

"&£&$££! That does it, you're coming with me" Vector snarled as he dragged Sonic into the elevator. Going down, the two heroes eventually reach the centre of the Reactor.

"Okay Sonic, you set the timer" Vector said, "I want to keep an eye on you, just in case you try anything" he then added. As Sonic knelt down to set the bomb, he clutches his head in pain as he suddenly hears a voice in his head,

"Be careful, this is no ordinary reactor"

"WHAT THE FCK ARE YOU DOING?" Vector yelled, bringing Sonic back to realty, "You've set the bomb to go off in 30 seconds!"

Running as fast as they can, Sonic, Vector and the three chao ran out of the reactor as fast as they can just as it explodes.

As Vector turns and looks at the destroyed reactor, a smile spread across, "That'll keep the planet alive a little longer" he said, Vector then faced the chao and added, "Split up and we'll rendezvous on the train"

"What about me?" Sonic asked as the chao run off,

"You'll get paid when we get back to the hideout," Vector answered, disappearing into the gloom of the street. As Sonic made his way thought the street, he meets Tikal.

"Excuse me, could you tell me what's happening?" Tikal asked as Sonic walks up to her, Sonic then replied, "The Reactor blown up. You better go home where it's safe"

"I will, thank you." Tikal said as she turned and left.

Skip to where Sonic arrives at the Sector 7 Slums.

As Sonic walked thought the slum, he finds Vector and the rest of AVALANCHE waiting outside a bar, entering the bar Sonic Find Cream and Amy inside,

"Hi Sonic, long time no see" Amy said as she looked up and saw Sonic

"Um. Yeah it's been what? A year or two?" Sonic replied when Vector comes in with AVALANCHE, "Hi Amy, Cream," Vector then turned to the chao, "Okay gang, head down to the Hideout". As Sonic climbed down the ladder, he saw Vector watching a newsflash on the T.V.

"The No.1 Reactor has been destroyed today. A group know as AVALANCHE has claimed reasonability for this action. President of Shinra, Chris Thorndyke states that he will put an end to this, and I quote, "Terrorists group"" the news said as he finished the newsflash and then continued with the news,

"And in local news, when asked about the rumours of sending letter bombs to Rei the Hedgehog, Megatron had this to say,"

"By the pit, I slagging do not need to answer your slagging questions. So leave me the slagging pit alone, before I slagging tear you a slagging new waste disposal unit. And if you try to interview me again, I'll slagging kill you and the cameraman and have you for dinner, you slagging son of a glitch." Megatron yelled in the recording of his interview.

"And now to Kenny, for an update with the Megatron interview,"

the screen then changes to show Kenny from South Park carrying a microphone and about to start interviewing Megatron, who is in his dragon mode. But before Kenny could say anything, Megatron leapt on Kenny and the cameraman with a yell of, "Die news reporter!"

The screen then goes blank as Megatron's foot crushed the camera but we can still hear the yells and screams as Megatron ate them alive.

As everyone offstage slowly edged away from Megatron, Vector decided to continue the story by asking Sonic, "Was there anyone from G.U.N at the Reactor?"

"No way. If there was you'd all be dead," Sonic replied, now about my pay"

"Hold on a sec while I get it"

"I'll be upstairs" Sonic replied as he started to climb the ladder again. When he reached the door of the bar, he heard Amy saying, "Sonic wait"

Catching up with Sonic, Amy then said, "The group needs you, please stay and help"

"Sorry Ames, but this was a one time thing, the jobs done, so I'm off to find another"

"But what about the promise you made?"

-Flashback to Nibelheim 5 years ago- 

_Sonic is waiting in the town centre as Amy arrives._

"_Ok, I'm here, what did you want to talk to me about, Sonic?"_

"_Tomorrow I'm leaving for Midgar," Sonic replied, "to join G.U.N and be the best. I might even meet Shadow, the greatest warrior in G.U.N" _

"_Will I ever see you again?"_

"_Maybe?"_

"_Well, Promise that if I ever need help, you'll come to save me"_

"_Gee, there's something new" Sonic said sarcastically._

_-End of flashback-_

Vector then entered room, "Here's your pay," he says as he handed Sonic fifteen hundred rings,

"Ha, is that it?" Sonic said as he counted his pay, "You get the next job ready and I'll do it for 3000."

"What! Are you fcking crazy?" Vector yelled.

"Vector you know we need his help" Amy said, trying calm Vector down,

"But that money is for Cream's schooling, you know she's too damn foolish."

"Oh Vector, you're over reacting like any other parent."

Skip to after Sonic setting the bomb in the Sector 5 reactor.

Sonic, Amy and Vector Ran out of the reactor and onto the bridge, when guard robots start blocking the exits, leaving them trapped. Chris then steps out from behind the robots and glares at Sonic and the others,

"So, you are the ones who've been destroying my reactors." Chris said, Sonic then stepped forward and said, "So we meet again" Chris then replies,

"Who are you?"

"What you see is what you get. Just a guy who loves adventure! I'm Sonic the Hedgehog!"

"I see. But you know that I can't let you live."

"Err… I think you guys are reading the wrong script." Vector said.

Looking at their scripts, Sonic and Chris realize that they were reading Sonic and Shadow's lines from Sonic Adventure 2.

"Oops," Chris said and then added, "Ah yes, I remember now, you're the one who left G.U.N. Well the Reactor is about to blow up, so I'll leave you three to your deaths", with that Chris then climbed into the helicopter that was hovering beside the bridge. As the helicopter flew away the Reactor blew up, destroying half the bridge and Sonic left Sonic hanging over the edge.

"Sonic, hold on. We'll try and pull you up"

Sonic then, as a joke, started singing the main theme of Sonic Adventure,

"_Can't hold on much longer - But I will never let go  
I know it's a one way track –"_

"&$)£$&£" Vector swore, accidentally stamping on Sonic's fingers causing him to let go,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," Sonic then paused to breath, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa…"

"Vector," Amy yelled, "you idiot! Look at what you did!"

"Uhm… oops?"

"I'll show you!"

"Not the hammer! Not the hammer!"

_To be continued_

**Me: Okay, that a wrap people.**

**Megatron: Umm. Has anyone else noticed that Sonic is missing?**

**(Meanwhile in space)**

**Sonic: Help, I've been abducted by… Bill Clinton?**

**----**

**Review time**

**Rei the Hedgehog: Thank you for your review, I'm sure you'll enjoy this.**

**Brandon the hedgehog: Glad you enjoyed it.**

**Ri2: thank you for your comments (Megs: Yesss, recognition at last) **

**Please review.**


	3. Intermission already?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sonic, Final Fantasy 7 or Beast Wars.

**Megatron:** Before we begin; I, Megatron, would like to apologize for trying to send bombs to Rei. As a way of saying sorry, I want to give you this. (Hands Rei a bomb) Use it to blow up anything you want. And now back to our regulator programming.

**Final Fantasy VII: The Sonic Way**

"Two chapters and already we have to go on intermission." Knuckles said as he and the rest of the cast tries to find Sonic.

"Yeah, well if someone kept an eye on where Sonic was. We wouldn't need to find him" Shadow replied.

Megatron then said, "Well if we don't find him. I'll have to go job hunting again and I'm not very good at it".

FLASHBACK

"So, I'm getting my own series? HAH! TAKE THAT GEORGE LUCAS!" bellows Megatron.

"Yes sir, but there's one catch. It's a kiddie show. You know, educational. Rated G. Which means-"

The director states, giving Megs the Evil Eye, and suddenly speaking in a very authoritative voice

"-that there will be no swearing, boozing, shooting, killing, detonating, hitting, smacking, pimping, shin-digging, horse-play, conspiracies, yelling, farting, jiving, discoing, high-fiving, gun using, mention of the NRA, G.O.P, Al Gore, communism, theorcism, stabbing, maiming, kidnapping, or showing nude photos of Silverbolt and Blacharachnia." His chest explodes, spraying Megatron with blood and organs.

"So…what can I do?"

"You can do," says a man who just walked in "Absolutely, positively, not anything the least bit resembling fun at all. This is educational television, after all."

The show begins.

"Hey, let's see if Megatron wants to play!" One of the kids said.

"Hello Children!" Megatron said as he appears on stage,

"BLARNEY!"

"WHAT? YOU SHALL NOT CALL YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER THAT! UP WITH THEO-COMMUNISM!" Megatron then whips out a gun and vaporizes one of the kids, stabs another, smacks another, stuffs two in bags, activates bombs, blowing up Joe the Cameraman and whips out beer. "Hic' you- you two interns, go with, 'hic', Carl." Megatron then somehow manages to fart, disco, pee, and swear at the same time.

END FLASHBACK

The entire cast stare at Megatron as the flashback finishes and slow backed away from him.

"I wish we knew where to look for Sonic." Tails said, when a voice suddenly said, "Maybe I can help. Heeheehahahaha."

Megatron, recognising the laugh, rolled his eyes as he turned to face the Spider-bot, "What do you, Tarantulas?"

"Simple, teeheehahahahaaha." Tarantulas replied, "If I help you find Sonic, I want a part in the story"

"Alright, fine. Now tell us where to find him"

"Well, it just so happens, I saw who kidnapped him and we can use my space ship to find him."

Meanwhile with Sonic.

"Hey," Sonic yelled, "Where am I?" then, a giant transparent floating skull flew up to him and answered, "You are on our home world, and we are the Vok"

"O.k. now for the next question, when you kidnapped me. Why did you look like Bill Clinton?"

"We have no physical from that your mind cannot understand and so took the form of one of your leaders of authority from your mind."

Sonic then pointed out, "But I can see that you're a giant transparent floating skull."

"Our union has decided that since we're more ghost like, it doesn't count as a physical form." The Vok replied

"Well, can you tell me why you kidnapped me?"

"We figured that we can use you to convince Sega to let us play the part as the aliens in the Shadow game."

Meanwhile, back with the rest of the Sonic crew.

"Trust the Vok to interfere with the story." Megatron said as Tarantulas parked the spaceship, a number of Vok then appeared before them.

"What do you want?" one of them asked,

"We want Sonic back" Knuckles answered,

"We'll give him back if you talk Sega into letting us be the aliens in the Shadow game."

"Deal"

The Vok then handed Sonic over.

"Good," Shadow said, " Now let's get back and continue with the story."

**----**

**A short chapter I know, but this is an intermission chapter.**

**Review time**

**Rei the Hedgehog: Thank you for your review, I'm sure you'll enjoy this and your stories are great. (Megs: Yesss. Those U.L.Fs are ok. For fur balls) **

**Please review.**


End file.
